A most productive day: I successfully sowed the hole in my boxers... nevermind working on the two papers i have due next week *

18 July Monday proper 11

Mark 4:1-20
Jesus tells the parable of the sower, whose seed fell on various kinds of soil, some of which died and some of which produced miraculous growth.

Of course this parable is about the Word of God and the spread of the kingdom.
But looking at it as I reflect on the emptying nest, it is easy to reapply it to parenting. During the 'growing up' years we plant the seeds, by our words, actions and most of all examples.

Now we see what has truly taken root, as their growth is largely beyond our control. Already, of course, I see how my children appear to be flourishing. Just how great the yield will be, I now wait to see.

I suppose situations like my daughter's sickness far from home are like the farmer trying to tend to the plant when external factors beyond the farmer's control, like acid rain, are wreaking havoc with what should be healthy growth. There is only so much I can do, and then trust that she is strong and solidly planted, and remain confident that God is with her.

We plow the fields and scatter the good seed in the land
But it is fed and watered by God's almighty hand.
We thank you then, O Father for all things bright and good,
The seed-time and the harvest, our life, our health, our food. Amen.



*my daughter's last FB status before going in hospital - yes, she quickly realized it was sewed, but sowed works for this blog topic!

Are you worried? Yes but Not for the reasons people expect!

17 July Sunday proper 11

Matthew 25:14-30
Jesus tells the parable of the talents. The one who takes risks and fully uses the treasure pleases the master most and gains the most.

I am so proud that my daughter, who has left the nest, does indeed take risks and use her talents, and I try to encourage it. But right now I am quite fearful for her!

If I have the facts all right (and it is pretty sketchy over all these miles, even with the great communication technology we have) yesterday she was admitted to the only eye hospital in occupied Palestine. At this moment she is blind in one eye with a 'corneal ulcer.' Exact cause and cure are to be determined.

When people hear my 19 year old is in occupied Palestine they often ask if it worries me that she is taking such a risk. I doubt they are thinking in terms of This kind of risk!

The thing is, our children may leave the nest physically, but they are still so very near in heart. And they still need us. As we need them.


God, guide the doctors and others who are there with our loved ones when they are away from us.
And continue to encourage us to take risks and use our talents in your service, even when we encounter frightening things along the way.
And heal my child!
Amen.

Some of the Perils of PKs

16 July Saturday proper 10

1 Samuel 22:1-23
Saul learns that certain priests helped David escape from him. He has the priests killed, and also their children...oxen...donkeys...sheep, he put to the sword.


The nest emptying means for my children that they will go somewhere that their identity is completely apart from mine.
I don't think being preacher's kids has been as hard on them as it is on some! Certainly, they did not suffer the fate of the priest’s children in today's reading.

But it is something to think about. Flip the traditional image of the empty nest around. Along with the excitement of going away to school comes establishing a new identity for themselves. They don't get the ready-made identity of the rector's children anymore. I think there are aspects of that they will actually miss.


Gracious God, it is easy to become preoccupied with how change affects our own lives, forgetting that when things change for us, they also change for others.
Give us your guidance as we grow in different directions in the days soon to come. Amen.

A rose would smell as sweet...

15 July Friday proper 10

Mark 3:7-19a
Jesus called and appointed twelve, whom he also named apostles.


Jesus gave Some of the apostles special new names. And all of them were thereafter named apostles.

In the sense that it is described here, we are each 'named' various different things through our lives. For the past 19 years in many circles, my name has been mom, or a hyphenated name 'this-child's-mom' or 'that-child's-mom'

Now, I suppose, my name could become 'empty-nester'
But no, I don't think that will be my primary identity.

I feel, at least this week, like emptying the nest is a transitional stage, but the state of not having children at home, while it will change how I spend much of my time, will not be who I am.
I mean, isn't the term really more about who a person is Not? (not the parent of a child at home any more)
I think I should Be who I be, not who I don't be, if that makes sense!

The question is, then what name shall occupy the large portion of day to day living that has been filled by the name mom?

God, who created me and calls me your child, help me know which of my names should increase, while others decrease. Amen.

Hurtful things we do to keep from hurting

14 July Thursday proper 10

1 Samuel 20:24-42
Madness and jealousy drive king Saul to try to kill David, while his son Jonathan conspires to keep him safe.

On the way to the empty nest there is a lot of acting out over separation issues. It is not always clear that is what is behind erratic behavior while it is happening, but in retrospect, it all makes sense.

The year before my daughter left for college we bickered frequently. Two strong willed, type A personalities -- we had always had our 'moments.' But it was beginning to feel like All the time was a moment!

Then I realized what was going on. If we fought it made life together unpleasant. The more unpleasant it became to be together, the easier it would be to go our separate ways when it was time for college. Not that there was a conscious decision to fight, but at some level, it made sense, to make the separation easier.

Once I became aware of this I stepped back from the quarrels more readily. I was going to miss her, and that was that. Not all separations have to be like Saul and David's.

God, sometimes people who love each other have strange ways of showing it. Help me to find appropriate ways of acting out my feelings. Amen.

Let the wild rumpus begin*

13 July Wednesday Proper10
Mark2:13-22
Jesus said: "The wedding guests cannot fast while the bridegroom is with them, can they?"

For Spring break this year, my son and I went on a trip to Ireland. As a single parent, about to start paying for a second college tuition -- prudence would say I should not be going on such an extravagant vacation. But it was our last big trip together before he goes to college, and he had dreamed of biking around the Aran Islands since he read about Saint Columba in third grade.

There will be time for fasting soon enough. For now, a little feasting while my child is still with me is fitting.

God, sometimes we take ourselves too seriously and forget that you made this world for us to rejoice in it.
Help us, like Jesus, to celebrate and enjoy one another while we can. Amen.


* title taken from Where the Wild Things Are

The nest and the tree

12 July Tuesday proper 10

Acts 12:1-3
King Herod had James, the brother of John, killed with the sword.

My church is named for St James. So I'm quite used to pointing people toward this passage. It explains why a sword is one of the symbols used to identify St James in art.

After I had been here about five years, a two hundred year old oak on the front lawn of the church died. I hired a carver to turn the remains of the tree into a statue of St James. Of course we have no idea what he looked like, but we know his symbols -- the scallop shell of the pilgrims of Santiago de Compostela and the sword of his martyrdom. The statue, carved with a chainsaw, is fourteen feet high, and has come to be a kind of landmark for the church.

Writing this reminds me how young the children were when we moved here. They were 2 and 3 then, now they are 18 and 19 years old. They have really grown up in St James. They have been the priest's kids (PK's) who have been a fixture of the parish for almost their whole lives. Or, to look at it from the other direction, they have been here for the parish for nearly sixteen years -- longer than half of the congregation's active members.

I wonder if there's a bit of an empty nest thing happening for the parish too? No more dependable back-ups for acolytes, youth group, set-up for events, and the multitude of behind-the-scenes other ways they have helped me and St James' over the years. It will be different coming to church alone...

God, you weave us together in so many ways. Help us support one another through times of challenge and change, even as our connections make us rejoice in our shared blessings.
Amen.